Gray Matter

We are in airports right now. Had an interesting night last night. My name was spelled incorrectly on my plane ticket so they wouldn't let me on the plane. Had to make a lot of calls and do a lot of smooth talking to get them to let me through security. Once I was through security, everything worked out. But it was an interesting couple of hours in the San Diego airport trying to get them to let me through security. A little stressful. But it all worked out. Hopefully they let me fly home. That could be bad. Heather wouldn't like that very much.

We are in DC right now and about to get on a plane for the next 14 hours. DC to Rome to Ethiopia. Change plans again, then head to Uganda. Long couple of days of traveling. But A fun experience with my group. Getting excited to get there and start working. After last night, Uganda will be relaxing. Should be able to post more later. You can follow the whole trip on the group blog.

www.sfcmedical.blogspot.com

Leaving on Wednesday night for my trip to Uganda. Very excited, and a little nervous. We have 30 hours of traveling to get there which should be interesting. But a good group and fun times. I will post as much as I can about what we are doing over there. Check in and see what we are doing.

I am going to Uganda. CRAZY. Never thought I would ever get the chance to do something like this. About two weeks ago, a friend of mine (fellow teacher), called me saying her male leader on the trip couldn't go any longer. She was stuck. No male chaperon for the trip that left in 6 weeks. They were buying plane tickets the next day. She said I didn't have a choice, that I just had to go with her and the team. Lucky for her I wasn't doing anything this summer, lucky for me, I get to go to UGANDA.

I am very excited, I have always wanted to go to Africa, but haven't really ever thought it would happen. And it is. I am scared, and a little nervous, but very excited. I am really looking forward to it. Janelle is a great friend, and I am excited to lead a trip with her. And we are taking some fun kids. Should be a great trip. We are going to be working in a medical clinic in Gulu, a city in northern UGANDA. Hang out with the locals, play with kids, and help some doctors that are going over with us take care of some people that could really use the medical care. Crazy to think that somehow, GOD has a purpose for me to be on this trip. That somehow, it is a good thing that Ryan can't go, and I can. That something incredible is going to happen while I am in UGANDA for that two weeks. Can't wait. Hopefully I will have Internet while I am over there and can post some updates from the other side of the world.

I have been asked to be the Chaplin of the lacrosse team at my school this year. Not sure what that means, but I said yes. Before you laugh at that, I don't really have "Chaplin" responsibilities. I just hang out and pray from time to time. It is a good gig. So I go to all the games, and stay out of the way.

So last night we played against Poway High school. If you haven't heard anything in the past month, a Poway student was murdered a few weeks ago. It has been a very big story in San Diego, and the whole city has really rallied around the story and the whole situation. Chelsea went missing for 4 days and the whole town was searching for her until she was found tragically murdered. Horrible situation.

So played Poway. It was a very big game. Both teams are very good. It was heated and close and a tight game. And then it was over. And it didn't matter who won. At that point, it was just two groups of guys, from two different worlds, that know exactly what the other is going through. Two different situations, two different scenarios, and the same painful feeling. The same loss. The realization that Will and Chelsea aren't coming back.

We brought both teams together at midfield after the game. Our team had made sweatbands that we wore during the game, and made some for Poway as well. Our coach spoke to the Poway boys, and just gave some life words. And then someone had to pray. And that was me. I was asked to pray for the Poway boys as they go through the pain that my boys are steal dealing with just a few months further in the process.

What do you say to them? What do you say to a GOD? How do you pray for guys that you don't even know, a school that you are not a part of, who is broken with little hope? I don't even remember what I prayed. I am pretty sure that I left a lot I should have said. I don't even think I prayed for Chelsea's family. Big mistake.

But last night, I was reminded of Will. How much I miss him, how he isn't here. I was reminded of the pain that I am still dealing with. The pain that all our boys are still dealing with. I am standing on the sideline watching the game. I see the Poway boys with Orange chin straps in honor of Chelsea. I see our boys with stickers on our helmets, and shirts with Will's name on it. Visual reminders of boys that are in pain. Boys that were asked to go out on the field and play, when they have so much else on their minds, knowing that whether they like it or not, they represent their fallen friends, their fallen teammate. I miss Will, I miss Chelsea, and I never even knew her.
Last night was rough. And it still is.

This is a big week for our basketball team. We lost a heart breaker last week to end the regular season. We are going into playoffs this week. We didn't get the seed that we were hoping for, but we did get a fun road to the championship. We are going to end up playing a team that didn't want to play us earlier in the year. We called to put them on our schedule, and their coach said that we weren't an "exciting enough team to play against." Can anyone say Karma. Now I don't really believe in that stuff, but I think it is really ironic that we are going to end up playing a team that didn't want to play us. I love that. And I pray that we just stick it to them.

So it is going to be a big week. Winding down the season and getting to the real exciting stuff. Just had a week off of school which was very relaxing and needed. Spent some quality time on the golf course and got to hang out with Heather. Heather went up to Redding to visit our nephew who is SUPER cute, leaving me here to fend for myself this weekend.

So this weekend I spent a lot of time by myself. Got to think a lot about nothing, and about everything. I don't really know why, but I got to thinking about a lot of big things. Choices, decisions, just life in general. And of course Will. I still miss him. A lot actually. I still miss him. I still stand outside my classroom between periods and expect to see him walking by and saying hi. I keep waiting for him to come into my room in the middle of class and totally disrupt everything in the most awesome way possible. I keep waiting to hear him laugh. I keep waiting to see him walk around the corner, and see that SMILE on his face. I still miss you WILL. I still miss you a lot. And I still don't get it. I am still looking for answers.

You grow up wondering what you are going to spend the rest of your life doing. When you are little, you tell yourself that you are going to be a doctor, or fireman, or athlete. And then you get a little older, and you tell yourself you are going to be an attorney or engineer. And then it comes time to actually figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life. And you make this big decision without even really knowing what your life would look like if you went down that road. So you take this big leap and hope that you like what you do. And it is okay if you don't like your path. You can always change. But it is this huge decision, I mean, it is what you are going to work towards the rest of your life. YIKES!!!!!

So I went into teaching, wondering if I would even like it. All the planning, dealing with kids, dealing with parents. AND I LOVE IT! I am in my classroom right now. It is during one of my prep periods that I don't have class. 5 of my students have ditched out on class to come stop by my class. (For the record I have told them all to go back to class.) I love my job. I guess I just get high school students. To me, they are awesome. A little misguided and stupid, but a ton of fun. And I love teaching math. I like getting kids that HATE math, to at least be okay with it at the least. And get some kids to LOVE math. It is a ton of fun. I LOVE MY JOB. And I am very blessed to love my job. And very blessed to have one.